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Ya boy got crowned â¨Queer of the Night⨠at the Grad Ball !!!!
#it was more fun than i anticipated#and i was not at all expecting the award#there were so many pretty queers and walking with them on the dance floor felt like heaven and earth colliding inside my brain#they were SO FUCKING GORGEOUS#i mean being queen/king of the night is great#like very pretty girls and boys#fantastimazing#but like???#queer of the night???#being considered The Gay among those gorgeous motherfuckers???#THEY WERE DRESSED TO THE NINES !!!!!#queer fashion is wayyyyyyyy more sophisticated than straight fashion (no offense)#the bar was so high and i came out on top#and i have the sslg adviser to thank for that 'cos if it wasn't for him and his childhood dream there wouldn't be a queer of the night#i'm the school's first ever queer of the night#thanks to the sslg advi who once wished there was an award for queers during graduation balls
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PART ONE
summary: by chance you and your emotionally unavailable husband meet a friendly couple that invite you stay at their farmhouse in scotland. however the time spent there with johnny & kyle has you questioning if there's a dark side to them you didn't see before.
a speak no evil au - masterlist
notes: manipulative johnny & kyle, piv, noncon, somno, never explicitly acknowledged abusive relationship between reader and her husband (financial, physical, emotional, coercive control), drinking, murder, it's dead dove horror people!! heed the warnings
you picked at the buttery croissant on the plate in front of you, trying your best to block out the sound of your husbandâs voice as it grew more frustrated by the minute. you pitied the poor soul he was berating on the other end of the line, but you couldnât bring yourself to feel bad enough to try and stop him, to turn his ire against you instead.
he wouldnât listen to you anyway, hadnât the first few times youâd asked when youâd first arrived on your honeymoon.
you scoffed quietly and shoved a bite into your mouth, chewing obstinately. two years late, but sure. your honeymoon.
elliot sighed heavily, and threw his phone down onto the table, rattling your coffee and gaining the attention of nearby hotel staff. âi work with fucking idiots, christ. how hard is it to follow instructions?â
âitâs why they keep you around, smartest one on your team,â you said appeasingly, the same rote answer you always gave him when he got in his moods.
âsmartest one at the whole fucking firm more like,â he scoffed. you cringed at the scornful looks sent your way from the other couples on the retreat. âuseless. the lot of them.â
the french riviera had been a dream destination for you for years, one elliot had known about from early in your dating days. the holiday heâd booked was all inclusive; tailored to honeymooners specifically with romantic activities on and off site and transport easily accessible in order to explore the area.
you felt as though you shouldâve been having the time of your life as you sat eating breakfast looking over the beautiful beach view, but youâd never felt emptier. the sight of happy couples around you day after day had only highlighted your husbandâs distance.
elliot had promised this trip would change things for you both, for your relationship, but the last six days had proven the opposite. if he wasnât busy and distracted on his phone, elliot was complaining about the quality of the food, the amenities, even the bloody people.
it was too much and just the morning before youâd been tempted to ask him to cut the fortnight away short when heâd gotten an urgent email and then a frantic call from his boss.
youâd sighed in relief when heâd left you to wander the local area by yourself for the day; happy to escape his negativity for an hour even as you felt guilty for thinking so. you knew he worked hard, you knew his job was important, and his work meant you could afford your luxury apartment in London and be able to take trips like this one without stressing over the cost.
youâd taken the time to go to the market youâd read about on the plane, the place des lices, and tried every free sample of cheese that had been waved your way once youâd gotten there. but you hadnât been the only one from your hotel to take advantage of the famous food stalls as you recognised the deep scottish brogue of one half of the couple that were staying in the room next to yours; it rose even above the busy hum of french chatter easily.
youâd turned your head and smiled when you caught his pretty husbandâs eyes before turning back to the stall merchant and buying a chunk of fresh camembert for elliot to try. youâd been eyeing up the fruit stall further down and were debating the brie too if you spotted some good cranberry jam.
âyouâre from the hotel, right?â you suddenly heard from your left. you turned to find the couple a lot closer than before, apparently taking your polite smile as invitation to join you. âiâve seen you at the pool before. Iâm kyle, this is my husband, johnny.â
ânice tâmeet ye.â
youâd introduced yourself and shook their hands once your cheese was carefully packed into your tote bag.
âwhereâs yer chatty husband?â johnny asked, eyes scanning the crowd.
you flushed, a creeping sense of embarrassment rising as you thought of elliot back at the hotel shooing you off before youâd even sat for breakfast.
âoh he had some emergency at work he had to deal with,â you excused. âdidnât need me hanging around distracting him, so i went for a walk.â
âyouâre on your own?â kyle asked with a concerned frown.
âyeah, but i donât mind. i travelled alone a lot before we were together. iâm used to my own company,â you said with a soft laugh.
the pair swapped a silent look before focusing back on you. âwell, weâd be happy to have ye if youâre feeling lonely, bonnie,â johnny offered. âwe were thinkinâ of goinâ wine tasting after this now that weâve got our snacks, if youâd like to join.â
you chuckled as johnny raised their bag and wiggled his eyebrows.
âi wouldnât want to intrude.â you shook your head.
âit beats heading back to the hotel,â kyle cajoled. âunless you had other plans?â
you pursed your lips before letting a small, shy smile grow. âok. wine tasting sounds fun.â
you had spent the afternoon laughing and eating the cheese, bread and fruits youâd bought at the market over glasses of wine with johnny and kyle, a wide smile never leaving your lips even as the three of you stumbled back up the steps to the hotel.
your phone had stayed silent the entire day and it wasnât until you were waving goodbye to your new friends and opening the door to your hotel room that you wondered if elliot would be annoyed at you for staying out so long without contacting him.
you smiled a little shakily as you caught him leaving the bathroom with a towel slung around his hips. âgood day?â
âfixed their mess if thatâs what you mean,â elliot huffed, but he turned to you with a satisfied smile and nodded. he dipped his head down and kissed you sweetly. âwhat about you? good day?â
âmhm,â you hummed, your smile settling more firmly on your face at his easy mood. âi went wine tasting.â
âoh?â elliot grinned, looking at you a little closer and taking in the signs of your slight inebriation, the way you swayed slightly on your feet and the almost sleepy glaze over your eyes.
âmet a few new friends,â you said. âjohnny and kyle.â
elliot stiffened for a moment before smiling again, less genuine and with a sharper edge this time. âoh? thatâs nice. iâll be free to spend the day doing whatever youâd like tomorrow, darling. no need for friends on our honeymoon.â
âyou will?â you asked as you started to undress, surprised he wasnât asking for an extra day to check everything with work had settled. you didnât look the gift horse in the mouth however. âthereâs a great market i saw today we could go to. i wouldnât mind going twice, the cheese is amazingââ
âsure, sure. fine. letâs just sleep now, yeah? iâm exhausted after today,â elliot interrupted as he dried himself off before climbing into bed.
âof course, yeah. we can figure it out over breakfast.â
which brought you back to now, with your croissant and your husband and your beach view and the ever growing pit of disappointment.
you skimmed your eyes over the other couples sat on the veranda with you and felt jealousy bubble and spit in your stomach. it was the small things you longed for, the easy affection you craved; legs hooked together under the table, feeding each other, shy smiles shared behind mugs, little jokes whispered on the breeze.
you felt tears prickle at your eyes unexpectedly and wiped at them hastily before elliot could notice.
âbonnie?â your head whipped up at the familiar voice and you smiled automatically at johnny and kyle as they made their way over. johnny was in a pair of shorts, and you saw a knee brace peek out from the hem.
âmind if we join you?â kyle asked, already pulling out a chair at your eager nod, ignoring the deep frown on elliotâs face.
âand you are?â elliot asked rudely, looking between the two men.
âthis is johnny and kyle, the couple i told you about last night.â you laid a gentle hand on elliotâs forearm.
âoh, the wine tasters. right.â
âheard you were busy saving yer bossâ arse yesterday,â johnny said with a pinched smile. âyer bonnie wife didnae mention what ye did though?â
âi work for a powerful man looking after his money,â elliot explained vaguely, with an air of condescension.
you noticed kyle wave over a waitress and quietly order for both him and johnny, his palm settled firmly on johnnyâs thigh beneath the table.
âoh aye? thaâs a lotta responsibility then. no wonder yer always looking so stressed on yer phone,â johnny laughed.
âoi, be nice, john,â kyle scolded, but the smile teasing the corner of his lips took away any bite the reprimand held.
âsorry, uh, emmet, was it?â
âelliot,â you corrected quickly.
johnny snapped his fingers and nodded. âright, right. sorry, my memoryâs not what it used to be.â he waved at a rough scar at the side of his head.
âso how long have you two been together?â kyle asked as their drinks arrived. you saw elliot sniff at the vast amount of sugar kyle poured into his tea.
âfive years,â you answered at the same time elliot answered, four years. you turned to him with a frown. âweâve been married for two. we met before your promotion, remember?â
âare you sure, darling?â elliot asked.
âyes, elliot. iâm sure.â
kyle and johnny watched silently, eyebrows raised until you turned back to your croissant with a tense jaw.
âtime flies ân all that,â johnny said, hoping to ease your tension.
âright.â you nodded. âwhat about you guys? been together long?â
âbeen stuck with him for a decade now,â kyle huffed, patting his hand on johnnyâs leg.
âbeen blessed by me, more like, cheeky sod,â johnny muttered.
you laughed as kyle leant in to kiss his cheek obnoxiously. âmet in the forces, just clicked.â
âbeen together ever since i caught him starinâ in the showers,â johnny boasted with a grin.
elliot shifted uncomfortably in his chair and johnnyâs grin dropped minisculely and his eyes hardened.
âwhatâre yer plans today then, bonnie?â
âoh, uhm, weâre not quite sure yet,â you said looking to elliot. âmaybe the market since elliot missed it yesterday?â
âyou should join us on our cruise along the coast,â kyle said. âjust us and the captain, and a fair bit of booze; views are meant to be unmissable.â
âsounds better than a market,â elliot chuffed before shrugging. âsure, why not?â
âreally?â you were more than surprised elliot was willingly agreeing to spend more time with kyle and johnny given how on edge heâd been just sat with them the last ten minutes.
âwhat dâye say, bon?â johnny leant over the small table with a smile, taking up enough space for you to feel surprisingly cornered.
âpretty hard to say no to âunmissableâ,â you said and forced a laugh.
âgreat,â kyle said and johnny slumped back into his seat, throwing an arm around the back of kyle chair. âweâve got an hour before weâre meant to be there so eat up, love.â
elliot bristled at their familiarity with you and wrapped his own arm around the back of your chair, his hand curling around your shoulder and squeezing just a tad too tight. âsheâs already eaten.â
âwhat, that little pastry?â johnny laughed. âyouâll need yer energy for what weâve got planned, hen.â johnny winked.
you felt yourself flush involuntarily, your heart thumped and your eyes widened at the accidental insinuation and you knew elliot had heard it the same way going by the agitated tap of his leg beneath the table.
âiâll probably just have another coffee,â you said placating, and smiled thinly when elliot kissed your temple. âi can grab something for on the boat or afterwards maybe.â
âthatâs my girl,â elliot spoke into your hair.
---
while kyle and johnny finished up their breakfast, you nipped back into your room to change into your swimwear underneath your dress and met them along with elliot at the steps leading down to the beach.
once youâd left the dock and were deep enough in the water that it became a mesmerising dark blue, it didnât take much convincing to have you jump in the water with johnny as the boat idled in place. elliot had waved you off with a dismissive glance at his phone when you asked if heâd join and kyle had promised to have the towels ready when youâd both ran out of energy.
ânot joining them?â elliot asked, sparing a quick glance at kyle as he sat down next to your husband.
âfigured iâd keep you company âtil johnny climbs back on board. weâre temporary neighbours after all, yeah?â kyle said. he looked over the side of the boat and shook his head at his husband splashing you despite your giggly squeals of outrage. âmarried for two years?â he asked out of the blue and waited for elliot to hum his agreement. âwhat you doing on a honeymoon trip then, if you donât mind me asking?â
elliot sighed frustratedly as he locked his phone and put it down beside him, knowing he was going to get nothing done with kyle yammering by his side. âweâre busy people, only just found the time together to go.â
kyle raised his eyebrows in shock. âbusy indeed.â he looked to elliotâs phone. âgot any photos of the wedding?â
elliot nodded once, and not enthusiastically enough for kyleâs liking, as he pulled up the photo folder youâd made on his phone titled âhappily ever after đŠˇâ before handing it to kyle to flip through.
the younger man whistled lowly, eyes glued to the screen as he pinched and moved the photos to zoom in. elliot noticed how he paused on the photos of you, but flicked through the others quickly, not bothering to stop quick enough to take in your bridesmaidsâ dresses or the expensive tiered cake or elliotâs flash suit.
he snatched his phone back when kyle licked his lips at a photo of you dancing with your friends.
âlovely gown,â kyle said with a smirk as he watched elliot seethe. âyou really got lucky, eh? punching up like that.â
elliotâs eyes squinted in a glare. âexcuse me?â
âcome on, mate. you can be honest, itâs why you worry about the job, right? you want to keep that going for you so she doesnât leave you in the dust,â kyle continued to goad him.
âitâs not me that needs to worry about being left behind,â elliot spat. he rubbed his hand over his mouth and jaw to hide his burgeoning smug look, but kyle saw it in his eyes, the self-satisfaction. âiâve got options. plenty at that.â
kyle stared at him with a blank face. âoh yeah?â
elliot laughed meanly and dropped his hand. âoh yeah.â he tapped his phone against his palm for a moment, seemingly debating something before freezing as he heard you and johnny climb the short ladder back up to the deck, laughing all the while.
âdone in already?â kyle asked, his mood already lighter.
âjohnnyâs knee is aching, thought he could rest it and weâd get a quick drink,â you answered with a wide smile, reaching for one of the beers stored in the boats built-in cooler and handing one to johnny.
âbonnie was jusâ telling me how she used to live in a much smaller area when she was younger,â johnny said as you both sat down opposite to your partners. âbut you live in london now?â
âwhat is it with you two? always asking bloody questions,â elliot complained, hiding his unease behind a laugh.
âjust making conversation, mate,â kyle said tersely.
you felt the air grow awkward and jumped in before your husband could make it worse.
âwe moved to london for elliotâs work,â you said.
âand you like it?â kyleâs inquisitive, dark eyes had you willing to be more truthful than you would usually be, especially with near strangers.
âi have to admit⌠iâd always thought weâd be somewhere further from the city; its what iâd always wanted and elliot said heâd liked the idea of somewhere quieter. we met in my home town after all.â you caught elliotâs scornful eye and ducked your head. âbut it just didnât go that way in the end. and london is lovely, the apartment isâ lovely.â
âyou ever been to scotland?â johnny asked. âthe countryside is like nothinâ youâve ever seen up there.â
kyle nodded. âweâve lived on the edge of falkland for a few years now; feels like the middle of nowhere sometimes. doesnât get much better, i havenât missed the city for years.â
âone of the best decisions we ever made,â johnny agreed, leaning over to kiss gaz softly.
you sighed wistfully.
âdonât think the hills would agree with my dear wife, but maybe weâll take a trip up there some time,â elliot said unconvincingly. you swallowed thickly at his thinly veiled dig.
âwhen youâre not so busy, yeah?â kyle said staring your husband down.
elliotâs lips thinned. âyeah.â
âso howâre you finding france so far?â johnny asked. âenjoying yer stay?â
elliot sniffed. âcould be better. from how this one went on about the place i was expecting a hell of a lot more,â he said snidely, gesturing to you flippantly. âiâd have picked bali personally.â
your shoulders hunched even as you felt indignation and anger burn the back of your throat. it wasnât your fault elliot wasnât taking advantage of the holiday, the lush area and the activities that promised to be unforgettable if given the chance. you knew youâd remember going in the sea with johnny for years to come, but you doubted youâd remember the boring dinners youâd been having with elliot in a monthâs time, or at least not so fondly.
âthink iâd have put the trip off for longer if i knew what this place was going to be like,â elliot laughed. âin factââ
âwhy donât you shut the fuck up fer once and let yer pretty wife speak, eh?â johnny cut him off with a sarcastic smile.
elliot was shocked into silence and you found yourself stuttering as kyle and johnny focused on you.
âwhat do you do when youâre not on a late honeymoon, love?â kyle asked.
âuhm, i donât actually work currently,â you admitted sheepishly, your eyes darted to your husband as he grew redder in the face. âelliot makes enough to cover us financially and finding something in london was harder than expected after i had to suddenly quit my previous job when we moved.â
kyle and johnny cooed sympathetically.
âiâve picked up painting recently though, which has been different. not necessarily any good at it, but i like it,â you said.
âan artist? yer after my heart, hen. i sketch a little myself,â johnny said. ânow yeâll have to come visit us just so you can paint the views.â
kyle was quick to pull out his phone to share some photos. he stopped on one of johnny on the top of a steep, grassy hill; his arms thrown up the air, backpack on the ground next to him and a wide grin stretched across his face, his mohawk a little longer than it was now and a mess in the wind.
âwow, itâs gorgeous there,â you gushed, trying not to focus on johnnyâs strong stance highlighted by the rising sun behind him.
âthatâs the view just behind our house,â kyle grinned. âforty minute hike to get there, at most.â
you gawped. âno way.â
johnny nodded.
âthink youâre maybe overestimating her painting skills there, boys,â elliot snickered as he looked at the photo. âif you saw what sheâs done so far youâd realise itâs definitely just a new hobby.â
âshow us,â kyle suggested kindly, not bothering to look at elliot.
you hesitated before reaching for your bag and pulling out your phone. you handed it over with a shy smile.
âoi, these are good, bonnie,â johnny said immediately, stood looking over kyleâs shoulder. his brow was pulled into a frown as he concentrated.
âiâd buy âem,â kyle added, looking up at you to smile.
âha! right, yeah,â you laughed, thinking he was teasing. you put down your beer and took your phone back, dropping it into your bag. you leant in to kiss elliotâs cheek and stood. âwhoâs going to join me in the water? elliot?â
âi donât think so, darling. maybe another time,â he said.
âi will.â kyle stood. âdid johnny show you how to dive off the front?â
your eyes widened in excitement as you shook your head and followed him, waving at the captain sat at the helm of the small boat as you passed.
johnny watched the pair of you go before turning to glare at elliot silently, not breaking eye contact even as your husband frowned and shifted uneasily, eventually looking down at his phone to avoid johnnyâs unwavering, cold gaze.
---
âi donât like them,â elliot said once you were back in your hotel that evening.
âwho? johnny and kyle?â
âwho else?â elliot scoffed. âtheyâre too familiar with you, theyâ they fawn over you. flirt relentlessly, in front of meââ
âoh come on,â you laughed, unable to stop yourself even as elliot grew angrier at your casual dismissal. âtheyâre married, donât be bloody daft.â
âdonât call me stupid.â elliot warned.
âiâm not, i justââ
âwhether theyâre actually interested in you or not isnât the point,â elliot seethed. âtheyâre doing it to wind me up. to get away with humiliating me and you encourage them.â
âiâ what? we were just having fun,â you said.
âoh i know, i saw how you clung to them in the water when you thought i wasnât looking. fucking slut.â
you gaped at elliot, taken aback by his harsh words and sharp tone. you took in a deep breath and tried to level your own voice.
âtheyâre just friendly.â you bit your cheek. âif anything, youâre just jealous iâm getting more attention than you for once.â
âwhat was that?â elliot whipped around to face you and you felt your blood run cold even before he took a step towards you. he gripped you roughly by the back of your neck and tugged you forward so his lips rested at your temple and you followed limply, keeping your hands by your sides. âyou better not play up tomorrow, darling. whatever they offer, weâre busy. this our honeymoon, not a fucking jolly for you to try and meet other men.â
you seethed in his hold, furious at his accusations and the irony of his ill-placed jealousy. but all the same you nodded gently. âok, elliot.â
âgood.â he kissed your round cheek with a loud, sarcastic smack before turning towards the bathroom. he shed his clothes as he walked, leaving them in a trail you knew he expected you to pick up and closed the door behind him, leaving you stood motionless in the centre of the hotel room.
---
you dodged johnnyâs bright grin and kyleâs sweet invites to hang out over the last week of your holiday with a pained grimace.
after the first few mornings of suddenly stilted conversation over breakfast, they stopped joining you and elliot and you were happy they were able to continue enjoying their honeymoon even if you werenât.
elliot didnât say in so many words, but he didnât trust you not to gallivant off if left alone like before, so you were stuck waiting in the admittedly lavish hotel room on the days elliot got pulled back into work over the phone and on his laptop. too important to leave until later, heâd said. but heâd promised each time to take you out for a dinner that had continued to be forgotten about.
with only a few days left you were stuck waiting by the road, the little moped youâd rented for the day parked and so far unused while elliot nipped back up to the hotel to grab his sunglasses. itâd been twenty minutes already and part of you wondered if heâd gotten lost. you wished heâd left the keys with you instead of pocketing them so you could keep yourself entertained with a quick ride around the block, get used to the feel of the bike before joining onto the main road.
a squeaky horn, two beeps in quick succession, had you flinching from your moody thoughts and looking up as kyle and johnny pulled to a stop in front of you.
âlong time no see, love,â kyle said. he nodded down at the bike with a grin. âwhere you off to?â
âand can we join?â johnny asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
you snorted. ânowhere. not until elliot comes back at least.â you shrugged. âheâs got the keys,â you explained.
âhow about we take you for a quick ride then,â johnny offered and kyle immediately started getting off from behind him.
âno, no i couldnât. thank you. elliot will be back any second, im sure,â you said quickly, worried elliot would grow mad if he saw you sat behind johnny on the bike.
âok, love,â kyle placated. âhow about we swap numbers then, in case we donât get to see you before your trip is up? i want to see more of your paintings.â
âweâre off home in about two days or so, figured yours would be about the same,â johnny said.
âwhat about email?â you suggested instead. your couples therapist had suggested regularly reading each others texts to try and gain back trust between the pair of you. the irony that it was now you trying to hide a conversation in your phone wasnât lost on you, but you knew elliot wouldnât want you talking to them after this trip. âi can get pretty chatty in a text, so email might be better,â you lied flimsily.
âsure,â johnny nodded along, clearly not believing you. âwhatever youâd like.â
âyou can have johnâs email,â kyle said with a smirk, the expression growing when the scot sighed and swatted at kyleâs thigh behind him.
you watched them with confused amusement until johnny read out his email.
âwow. thatâs very myspace of you,â you laughed even as johnny rolled his eyes.
âsoapâs an old nickname, youâll probably hear me call him gaz sometimes too. old habits,â johnny explained.
âfrom the military?â you confirmed and they nodded.
âi say it when i want him to listen. gets him standing to attention when i call him soap,â kyle said teased.
âanything you do gets me standing to attention, handsome,â johnny said, sultry and playful.
âoh piss off,â kyle laughed as he pushed johnnyâs face away, pretending to groan in disgust when johnny caught his wrist and messily kissed his palm. you felt your stomach clench at the brief sight of his tongue poking between kyleâs fingers, lapping at the webbing before he let him go.
his tongue there and gone again in a second. youâd almost think youâd imagined it if you didnât see the spit glisten in the sun before kyle wiped it on his shorts.
you blinked to clear your head and turned away even as the thought of johnnyâs mouth around kyleâs fingers replayed over and over in your head.
turning away meant you caught sight of elliot making his way back. it had your thoughts sobering and you looked back to the couple with an apologetic smile. âiâll see you guys later hopefully, but if not i hope you enjoy the rest of your honeymoon guys.â
âye trying to get rid oâ us?â johnny pouted, mischief clear in his eyes.
âno, but I know elliot will want to set off straight away soââ
âwe know when weâre not wanted, love,â kyle sighed, winking at you to soften the words and let you know they werenât offended, just pulling your pigtails. âtake a hint, johnny, letâs go check out the beach.â
âaye aye, sir,â johnny saluted lazily before revving the moped back to life and waving at you over his shoulder.
âready to go?â you jumped slightly at elliotâs voice behind you, you hadnât realised he was so close already and when you turned around you could see he was tense.
âready when you are,â you said and moved out of the way of the bike.
elliot didnât mention johnny or kyle and you were thankful; the day had barely begun, you didnât need an argument to ruin it already.
you swung your leg over the bike behind him and cuddled close, smiling when elliot rubbed a warm palm over your bare knee next to his thigh. today could be good if you just let it, you reminded yourself as elliot set off clumsily.
you lifted your head from his back once heâd managed to get the hang of controlling the moped a little better, becoming confident on the roads after a few minutes, but you wished you hadnât.
his collar was rustling in the wind and had slipped loose around his shoulder, revealing a smudged lipstick mark previously hidden by his button up overshirt. you felt your breath hitch, unable to look away even as your eyes started to burn.
your gut clenched and rolled unpleasantly, like you could throw up any moment but your jaw was firmly clenched closed. your hands shook where they were holding elliot at the waist and you finally clenched your eyes closed.
with trembling lips, you held back a sob.
today could be good if you let it, you repeated. so let it.
---
you didnât see kyle or johnny before you left and you didnât mention what you saw to elliot either.
instead you went back to london, to the dreary rain and the empty flat and the weekly couplesâ appointments.
you lied when your therapist asked how your honeymoon went. you grinned and turned to elliot with wide sparkling eyes and reach for his hand to hold between yours as you simpered, âsimply perfect.â
but it wasnât and elliot new it.
the breaking point was when johnny sent your throw-away email account a message one afternoon with a photo attached at the bottom. you grinned when it loaded on your laptop and you zoomed in to see your smiling face, then kyleâs, then johnnys.
it had been taken on the boat on your way back to the dock after a long day swimming and drinking and laughing. elliot had kept to himself for most of the trip unless spoken to, but after an hour youâd managed to ignore him well enough. it wasnât until kyle pulled him up on your way back, slapped his phone into elliotâs hand and asked him to take a photo of the three of you with the water and island in the background that you remembered he was there.
âelliot, be a good lad and take the photo for us wonât ya?â
âwhy not ask the captainââ
âheâs done enough dealing with us fer the day, aye? ohâ wait, did ye want tae be in it with us?â
âno. thank you.â
theyâd thrown their arms around you, pushing and pulling you to their liking until you were stood by the edge of the boat, and smiled. your shoulders were sensitive where johnnyâs arm laid over the top - sunburnt you thought at the time - and your hair was still wet from your last dip, but your smile was wide and glowing even as elliot had gritted his teeth.
despite his grumbles heâd done as asked and youâd been dying to see the photo ever since when johnny cooed, âaw, lovely photo to remember ya by.â
now you felt your cheeks heat as you saw how your swim shorts had rucked up high on your thighs, damp and clinging, showing off more skin than youâd realised. your swimsuit at least covered your stomach and cleavage well enough, though johnnyâs hand on your shoulder held one of the thick strings of your suit where it had tied at the back of your neck. he was in the middle of playing with it, tugging it so it was taut but not enough to loosen the bow. you donât remember feeling him pull at the string holding your suit up over your breasts, though you were distracted by the tight hold gaz had on your waist, the handful heâd grabbed as he knocked your hips together.
god no wonder elliot had gotten mad that evening. if you hadnât known the two were married, youâd have assumed they were trying to get between your legs by this photo alone.
you read the message johnny had sent along with it.
missin you and yer sweet laugh, bonnie!
forgot to send the photo earlier, i think the three of us look well fit, weâll have to go swimming gain sometime. gaz suggested leucate plage if yer still in love wih france, but im sure thereâs a few different au naturel beaches we could try ;)
you sputtered a laugh at that, scoffing at the idea of going to a nude beach especially with those two. bloody hell, elliot would have a fit, you thought gleefully.
but for now we thought you could come visit us like weâd said before? the countryside could be good for you and the olâ ball n chain. weâd be happy t have ye both for the week, weâve got the room. just let us know, yeah?
yer handsome pal,
johnny
you shook your head at his theatrics. emailing johnny felt like having a slightly unhinged penpal and reading his emails never failed to brighten up your day, you could hear him in the way he typed. you also loved when you assumed gaz would steal the phone to use his account to talk to you, the lack of scots and shorthand was always a dead giveaway between the two.
you bit your lip and found some of the photos heâd sent previously of their home and garden. it was gorgeous simply put and although the anxiety of admitting to elliot that youâd kept in contact with them had your palms sweating, the deep urge to go visit them ultimately won out.
you bit the bullet over dinner that same night. steak, specially made to soften elliotâs mood.
not that it helped much.
âwhat?â he dropped his cutlery and pushed back from his seat, needing distance from you as he processed youâd been lying to him. âwhy would you do that?â
you didnât have an answer. or not one that elliot would like, so you felt yourself begin to shrug before you thought back to your last session.
âour therapist said it could be good for the relationship if i made some friends separate to yours,â you said.
âshe also said you needed to focus trying more with my friends,â elliot reminded.
âbut your friends arenât offering to stay with us for a week in the highlands, elliot. if they were then iâd be all for it!â
âso if i tell my friends that weâll spend christmas at the ski lodge with them this year, you wonât whine about wanting to be at home together, this time,â he challenged.
you swallowed. he knew you hated skiing and his bitchy judgmental rich friends. it wasnât even as though it was his easy going friends that liked to go, it was the worst of the bunch that purposely left you out or talked down to you, made it impossible to try without embarrassing yourself.
but fine. you could deal with that this year if it meant your friendship with kyle and johnny was allowed to grow.
âsure,â you said with an obviously fake casual shrug. âso we can go?â
elliot huffed. you sprung out your next argument.
âour therapist also said it was important to let me take the lead a few times. in order to let me regaiââ
âregain some power in the relationship, yeah, i know. i was there.â elliot nodded. he seemed to think it over. âthis will help you trust me again?â
you reached across the table and held his hand, smiling at him hopefully when he looked back at you. you tried not to think of the lipstick stain in france, tried not to let the hurt cloud you eyes. âyes.â you stood and walked to stand by his chair, chest warming when he wrapped an arm around your waist. âthe honeymoon felt forced,â you admitted, making sure to keep eye contact even as he stiffened. âwe both felt it, you can admit it, iâm not mad. but this would be new and an adventure. like old times, elliot.â
he nodded a little less resignedly. âsure, old times. ok.â
you smiled, dipped down to kiss him deeply, rubbing his clean shaven cheek with your thumb.
âthank you. this will be fun, i promise. weâll get to relax and just spend some time together, yeah? no pressure of what we should be doing as a couple or at work orâ orââ
elliot softened as he looked at you stutter to find another reason. âyes, darling. itâll be good.â
you stepped out of his grasp.
âiâll let them know we can go, what date do you think would be best?â
---
âfucking hell, you had one job. look out for the stupid carved owl in the tree and thatâs when we know to turn left,â elliot seethed as he drove, the sun growing dimmer by the minute. youâd spent the entire day driving up north using the directions, had set off that saturday morning in hopes that the traffic wouldnât be as busy as midweek. âso where are we now? you insisted on following their directions instead of using the satnav, so where the hell does it mention this endless fucking shitty, unpaved road? eh?â
you hunched down in your seat next to him and reread the instructions from soap, hoping to find a clue as to where you were on the, admittedly adorable yet detailed, map heâd drawn. youâd found it endearing when youâd first saw it but now you were thinking it was more of a necessity.
elliot snatched your phone from your hand and split his focus between the dark road and your phone, scrolling erratically to find the directions in the email he wanted. your hand hovered between you, eager to take your phone back but hesitant to foul his mood further.
your eyes caught on movement on the road and you quickly gripped the wheel to swerve and avoid hitting a deer that had wandered out from the trees. âfuck, elliot, watch out!â
he slammed on the breaks and dropped your phone into your footwell as he automatically gripped the wheel to take over from you.
you both sat still, panting; anxiety and adrenaline pumping through your body as you tried to tell it and brain that you were fine, it could calm down, you were ok. you rubbed at your shoulder where your seatbelt had dug in.
elliot started up the car again, silent, and went slower down the road until the headlights caught on a misshapen tree. you squinted before pointing it out. âhere, look. i think thatâs the owl, go left.â
it only took a few minutes before you could see the lights from kyle and johnnyâs farmhouse. the shape of their barn and surrounding smaller outbuildings stark against the natural curves of the hills and trees they were settled amongst.
âweâre here,â you said excitedly. âthey said to pull around the side of the barn to the garage they have at the side. their house should be riiight there.â you grinned as you parked directly in front of it on the gravel next to their truck.
âgreat,â elliot said sarcastically. you didnât mention his tone knowing that having to drive all day, several hours longer than youâd both expected, would have rankled anyoneâs mood.
you climbed out without a word and got your bags out of the back of the car. when you rounded back to the front you found johnny and kyle walking to meet you already, their front door left open behind them.
âbonnie! ye made it,â johnny said as he jogged over to you excitedly. you let go of your suitcase as he pulled you into a hug as soon as you were close enough, scuffing his stubble against your neck in his excitement.
âdown, boy,â kyle laughed, nudging johnny out of the way to give you his own hug. once he pulled back he nodded to elliot and smirked. âthought youâd maybe gotten lost, we were ready to start a search party.â
elliot bristled but johnny spoke up before he could defend himself.
âaye, but tea is still warm and ready to be served, anâ ahm fucking starving so letâs get inside yeah?â johnny slapped elliotâs shoulder before leading you all to the house. âdone a big roasty fer the pair aâye, so i hope yer hungry.â
the heat encompassed you as soon as you stepped inside, led through to the kitchen-stroke-dining room. the food smelled divine and the warmth accumulated from the oven and the fireplace had your shoulders relaxing instantly.
the house was far from modern with its mismatched old wooden chairs around the handmade table and the well-loved couch you could spot through in the next room, nothing like your lifeless flat in london. but the farmhouse was still stylish in its own way, in the colour of the cabinets, the throw on couch, the wallpaper leading up the stairs. though more importantly, it was homely. lived in.
âi can imagine the drive wasnae easy for first timers, so sit yerselves down and iâll plate the food, gazâll get the wine,â johnny said.
you pulled out the chair next to elliot, leaving the two opposite you empty.
johnny clapped his hands as if to say voilĂ when he put down your heaped plates a minute later.
âthis looks amazing, johnny, you cooked this?â you asked, eyes round and barely stopping yourself from digging in to be polite.
âhave a great sous chef,â he said and patted kyleâs arse when he passed by with the wine. kyle smirked.
âhow did you find the drive up, seriously?â kyle asked as he poured your drinks. he took a seat with johnny and gestured for you to start eating; now with permission, you didnât hesitate.
âit was fine. mightâve been easier if we were given an address instead, satnav mightâve made it quicker,â elliot said as he pushed around some of the steamed vegetables on his plate.
âthe views made taking our time worth it though, the valleys we passed were gorgeous,â you gushed. âi didnât realise there were so many small lakes too.â
elliot sniffed irritably, but you didnât notice. in fact youâd barely noticed how he played with his food more than ate it as you were too busy chatting and eating. you were going crazy for the hearty roast dinner, you could see in the colour and in the bursting taste of the veg just how fresh it all was; nothing like the store bought stuff you usually got at home.
you hadnât had anything home cooked in so long that you hadnât made yourself, and when you told kyle and johnny so they both reared back as though slapped.
âoh love, youâre missing out, thatâs not right. donât worry weâll take care of you while youâre here,â kyle promised.
elliot cleared his throat. âgot any salt?â
johnnyâs eyes flickered tersely from elliot to the roast beef he was poking on his plate and back up again. âsure. let me just grab it for ye.â
âcheers,â elliot smiled thinly.
âtop up?â kyle asked and gestured to your wine glass. you nodded before turning to elliot, but he wasnât looking your way so you held your glass out.
âthanks. god, after this and the long drive i think iâll be ready for bed; sorry excuse for company on the first night,â you apologised.
âweâre just happy to have you here,â kyle assured you as johnny sat back down. your husband doused his food in salt before making a better dent in it, downing his wine quickly afterwards with a wince.
âyeah, i think itâll be an early one for us tonight, wonât it, darling?â elliot said and started to stand, rudely pushing his unfinished plate away. âin fact, i think iâm pretty tired now.â
you looked down at the last few bites of your meal and the full glass of wine forlornly but stood alongside elliot.
âit really was a fantastic meal, thank you so much, johnny,â you said.
âanytime for you, hen,â he said. âhere, let us show you to your room.â
âiâll grab the dishes while you take them up, johnny. you cooked so iâll clean,â kyle said, hooking a finger in johnnyâs jeans to catch his attention when he stood up. you felt a sharp pang at their easy domesticity. sure theyâd said theyâd known each other, been together, for a decade, but it still ached that you and elliot where struggling so obviously in comparison despite your sixth anniversary nearing on the horizon.
you gave kyle a fragile smile as you followed johnny upstairs with your bags to your room for the week.
âiâll leave you to it, see ye in the morning,â johnny said as you settled into your room.
âthis is amazing,â you said with a small laugh, disbelief and joy mixing into something like hope as you started to get undressed. the view out of your bedroom looked over the front garden and you felt giddy at the idea of staying with your new friends for the next few days and exploring the area further.
âitâs⌠quaint,â elliot said.
you turned to him, your mouth pulled tight. âplease donât start.â
âwhat? itâs just⌠smaller than what weâre used to,â he said with a shrug, starting to laugh as he gestured at the room. âi mean look at this place, and the bed.â
âkeep your voice down at least, elliot,â you hissed, eyes sharp on the closed door of your bedroom.
âdarling, you know i get overheated easily, and by the looks of it weâre going to be pressed side by side all night. and i doubt they have a/c,â elliot huffed. he sat down on the bed and rolled his eyes when it squeaked. âoh, come on.â
âwe could open the window,â you said stubbornly, ignoring elliot as he shifted to make the bed squeak again.
âand let in the smell of sheep shit? not your brightest idea,â he scoffed. âchrist and never mind the bloody noise on top of that. good thing i brought my ear plugs or iâd never get any sleep.â
you bit your tongue when you thought of the constant traffic noises that flooded into your apartment at all times of the day and night, the light pollution that did its best to creep past your blackout curtains.
âiâm sure youâll get used to it after the first couple of nights,â you said instead and moved to join him in bed. you reached for his hand and squeezed it, leaning in for a kiss, teasing your tongue at his lips for a split second before pulling back. âjust⌠please be nice?â
he sighed.
âfine,â he conceded. âi was just expecting something a little nicer considering the price of the trip we met them on.â
you scowled at him and let go of his hand. âyouâre being rude.â
you leant over to turn off your lamp and laid down facing away from him. neither of you noticed the shadows shift under your door, the light footsteps heading away from your room.
---
you woke up the next morning to find elliot already in the shower, you could hear the pipes from the bathroom next door and noticed his suitcase had been half unpacked.
you were grateful heâd let you sleep, youâd gone to bed frustrated and you didnât want to carry it on this morning. it was a new day and you were eager to have fun.
you walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains. as you gazed out your eyes naturally drifted to johnny, stood near the barn youâd passed on your way in. he was small given the distance but you couldnât help but stare as he rhythmically chopped logs into smaller, more manageable pieces.
he was sweating, the repetitive action of driving the axe up and then through the thick wood obviously tiring, and you felt water pool in your mouth as you looked on gormlessly.
the sleeves of his thick checked shirt were rolled up his forearms and part of you wished heâd decided to chop the wood in the driveway so youâd have a clearer view of his muscles at work. he wiped his face on his bicep and suddenly turned to the house, to your window.
you ducked away before he could catch you and started to get dressed out of the line of sight the windows may provide. with your face aflame and anxious butterflies rampant in your stomach, you needed to get your head on straight and decidedly not ogle your new friends.
with one last stern word to yourself you headed downstairs back to the kitchen and found gaz pottering around.
âah morning, love. coffee?â he offered, holding out a cup. you took it gratefully with a small thank you and sat at the table again. there was a plate of toast in the middle, enough slices freshly made made for the four of you, and you reached forward for one. âi was thinking me and soap could show you a hiking trail nearby, make a day of it.â
âthe one you showed me on your phone?â you asked, nodding enthusiastically regardless of his answer.
âthis oneâs even better,â gaz said, smiling fondly. âjust might take longer.â
âcoffee? thank you, darling,â elliot mumbled as he swiped your coffee from your hands without asking and distracting you from answering gaz. youâd barely had a sip before elliot was finishing the drink off in one go. âmm, bit too milky for my liking,â he told you and sucked his teeth.
âprobably because it wasnât for you,â kyle said flatly. âweâre going on a hike today, care to join or has work called you in already?â
âiâd love a hike,â elliot said brightly. johnny walked in through the front door as elliot continued to talk about the hikes heâd been on before, heading to the sink to wash his hands and leaning up to kiss kyle as he passed. âwork can wait for the great outdoors. my wife here knows how much i love going onâ on uh, on hikes and finding new trails and mapping them out.â elliot stumbled over his words for a second, taken back by the kiss.
johnnyâs shoulders shook with a silent laugh and he turned and winked at you as he opened up a cupboard door that hid his face from your husband.
âoh, so you two go together?â kyle asked.
âno, no,â elliot laughed like the thought was ridiculous. âi go with my mates. not really her thing.â
you pursed your lips; you hated it when elliot answered for you, especially when he was wrong. which was often. instead of fussing though, you focused your ire on another slice of toast from the centre of the table.
âright.â kyle stood from his chair and went to lean next to johnny on one of the kitchen counters. âweâll pack a bag full of snacks and drinks and then we can be off. give us fifteen minutes?â
you nodded, thankful for the excuse to leave elliot at the table, and went to grab your walking boots before coming back to wait with elliot near the door.
âquicker to get there from the back,â johnny said and led you through the rest of the downstairs out into the back garden.
it looked like it could spread for acres if not for the looming trees of the forest fencing it in.
to the left was their chicken coop and a small locked shed. if you turned around youâd see your cars parked, the garage and then the barn further up.
the chicken coop was on solid muddy ground, closer to the gravel front, whereas the shed was further up on the flat grassy area that began to rise into a small hill further back and closer to the trees; there was a small iron table sat with four chairs closer to the house and you couldnât wait to use it, imagining sitting out there for lunch or breakfast.
to your right you took in their allotment, the large raised beds full of blooming vegetables; tall beans climbing the trellis arches from one side to another. you saw noticed the glint of a greenhouse hidden behind it all. everything was encouraged to grow to its fullest and you bet the food theyâd served the night before had been grown by their very own hands.
âweâve got strawberries if yeâd like tae pick some over the next few days,â johnny said as he walked you down to the end of the garden, catching the way your eyes were glued to the allotment.
âiâd love that, i havenât been strawberry picking since i was little,â you said.
johnny nodded. âsettled then.â
---
the hike wasnât difficult, but living down south in a very flat city hadnât built up your cardio for the steep hills and climbs at all.
âthis is a good place to stop for lunch,â johnny said, apropos to nothing.
he squeezed your arm as he wandered off the path towards the edge of the hill. you were halfway there to the top, but already you were loving the views.
âknee bothering you, johnny?â kyle asked as he pulled out a rainproof sheet from his bag and started placing the food out in the tupperware boxes.
âsomething like that,â he said.
you laughed when you saw johnny pull out a bottle of wine from his.
âjust tryinâ tae make use of all the wine we bought on holiday, hen,â he snickered.
you sat down and helped them spread the food out while your husband paced from the ledge to the path and then to the blanket, only to start again.
âhave a seat elliot,â you said encouragingly, patting the space youâd left purposely empty next to you.
he slumped down with a huff and kyle side-eyed him.
âhow was your night? sleep well?â
âhope the room wasnae too small,â johnny added, biting into a cheese cracker as he looked to your husband.
you felt your stomach drop and your face heat up. âno, not at allââ
âi think iâm just used to the finer things,â elliot said, picking up one of the packed travel cups pointedly and pouring himself some wine.
âwe slept fine,â you said firmly as you frowned at elliot. âitâs perfect.â
âah, weâre just joking around, hen, no need to fash,â johnny teased. âyou pack yer paints?â
âshit.â your face dropped as you looked at him. âi completely forgot when i was packing, i was too excited.â
johnny grinned. âyou can borrow mine, itâs alright.â
âif theyâre not dried up that is,â kyle said with a laugh. âiâve not seen you touch paints in years, johnny.â
âtheyâre water paints, gaz, theyâre meant tae be dry,â johnny said with a roll of his eyes. he looked to you and covered the side of his mouth. âyer a breath o��fresh air, ye have no idea. i love him but he doesnae have the eye fer it, you know?â
âim right bloody here,â kyle said exasperatedly, making you laugh.
âfucking hell,â your husband muttered under his breath before standing. âi think iâm gonna go ahead and have a look at the trail, get a lay of the land. iâll turn around in ten and meet you back here.â
âare you sure?â you asked at the same time johnny warned him, âdonât go off the path.â
âwhy not?â elliot asked, taking it as a challenge despite johnnyâs grave tone.
âgo straight so you donât get lost,â johnny repeated seriously. âitâs a tricky place, these woods. one wrong turn and youâll neâer be found.â
elliot stayed silent for a moment, left off kilter by johnnyâs intense eyes, before laughing, waving him of with a scoff. âsure thing, johnny.â
you watch your husband walk off with an uneasy feeling before kyle and johnnyâs easy going nature distracted you once more.
before you knew it itâd been twenty minutes, but you were too busy talking about how theyâd ended up moving out so far away from their original shared home, that you hadnât noticed elliot wasnât back yet.
âitâs great here, but it can feel⌠lonely sometimes, just the two of us,â johnny admitted as he looked to kyle. the handsome man nodded and knocked their knees together.
âi know how that feels,â you said, three cups of wine having loosened your lips.
âyeah?â kyle asked softly, tilting his head to meet your downcast eyes.
you opened and closed your mouth a few times before taking a deep breath.
âi want a baby,â you said weakly, sadly. you were quiet as though hoping not to be overheard. âelliot doesnât think itâs the right time, but im starting to doubt itâd ever be the right time if it were up to him.â
you blink at the anger that had seeped into your last words and gasped as you realised that youâd actually finally said them out loud. not even your therapist had gotten you to admit this.
âoh god, please forget i said that,â you begged them suddenly, wide eyed and pleading. âplease. donât say anything to elliot about it. iâ i think iâve just drank a little too much,â you tried to excuse yourself.
âhey, itâs ok,â johnny said with a concerned frown.
âi didnât mean it,â you rushed out.
kyle moved to elliotâs previous spot and pulled you in for a warm hug, calming you down.
âitâs normal to want things and to be disappointed when the person that promised you them canât deliver,â he whispered. you sniffled and slowly wrapped your arms back around him with a nod, tears building behind yojr closed eyelids. you slumped into his hold further when johnnyâs large hand rubbed soothingly across your back below kyleâs arms.
it was nice. simply being between them and being comforted by them was nice.
you leaned back and wiped at your eyes with a sniffly laugh.
âthank you, guys, iâ thank you.â
gaz squeezed your shoulder for a moment before finally letting you go.
you felt fidgety, needing to do something with your hands and to keep them from staring at your red rimmed eyed, so you reached for a handful of grapes when it suddenly occurred to you that elliot wasnât back. you looked at your watch and swore.
âelliotâs not here yet, shit what if heâs lost?â
âhe wonât be,â johnny reassured you, standing alongside you and grabbing your shoulders. âheâs an experienced hiker, right? he probably lost track aâtime like we did.â
âletâs get this packed away and weâll go catch up to him,â kyle suggested. you nodded, easily calmed once given easy orders to occupy your busy mind
---
âelliot?â you called out as you walked, johnny and kyle on either side of you, looking out into the trees in case heâd gone off track. âyou there? elliot?â
âstop shouting, christ, iâm here,â elliot complained further up the trail. he was slouched against a tree. âtook you all long enough.â
âoh my god, what happened,â you said as you crouched next to him, looking at the sorry swollen state of his ankle.
âtwisted it looks like, worst-case it could be a sprain,â kyle said from over your shoulder. âshould be fine, we can get home with him leaning on our shoulders, right, soap?â
johnny tutted in disappointment as he stared down the path instead of at your injured husband.
âthe waterfall was only five minutes away as well,â johnny said to no one in particular. he crouched next to elliot. âcâmon then, letâs get you back.â
your husband bristled. he looked longingly down the trail johnny had gestured to just a moment before.
âwe should still go, iâll be fine,â he insisted. âwe should go to the waterfall.â
gaz raised his eyebrows incredulously as he helped elliot stand, but he stayed silent.
âyou want to lean on me or johnny?â he asked.
âwhoever gets us there quicker,â elliot said, face pinched.
kyle rolled his eyes and set off walking, leaving elliot to wince until he matched kyleâs stride. luckily the walk wasnât long before the four of you cut off the trail and found yourselves stood at the bottom of the waterfall, a light mist of water splashing at your bare skin from where you stood.
âholy shit.â
johnny nudged your shoulders together with a laugh.
âimpressive, right?â
âto say the least,â you huffed.
kyle had helped elliot sit down by the edge of the plunge pool with his leg stretched out as youâd taken in the view with johnny, though you soon took a seat next to elliot when you noticed he was situated as comfortable as could be. you pulled off your shoes and socks and shuffled forwards a little to dip your feet in the water, kicking lightly and grinning even with how the cold bit at your toes.
elliot stayed stern faced even as he looked at the impressive feature, but kyle and johnny took no notice.
they started to undress, throwing their clothes down haphazardly by their bags.
âyou coming in?â kyle asked you cheekily.
âwe go in every time weâre here, tradition now,â johnny explained once he was stood in his underwear.
âi donât have my swimsuit,â you said hesitantly.
âjusâ go in yer kegs like us,â johnny dismissed the worry.
âitâs probably for the best sheâs said no,â elliot said meanly, one eyebrow raised as he looked over your relaxed form, your stomach rolls obvious and plush under the afternoon sun and your thighs spread thick where they pressed against the edge of the natural pool. you suddenly felt the need to layer up in your baggiest clothes. âsheâs happy enough sat with me. isnât that right, darling?â
you felt embarrassment, hot and sharp, flood from your face to your toes as you stared at him. this was your husband. a man that took delight in belittling you.
âoi,â johnny warned from where he stood waist deep in the water.
you ignored them both and stood suddenly, shucking off your clothes with tight angry movements, a smile only eventually pulling at your lips when kyle wolf whistled playfully.
johnny joined in jeering and clapped as you stepped carefully closer to the edge before jumping in. once you resurfaced, you resolutely faced away from the scowl you knew would be on your husbandâs face. you were past caring.
the cold of the water had you sucking in thinner breaths until you acclimatised, and you were grateful it was deep enough to brush your collarbones as you could tell your nipples were babbling from the chill.
âbe careful, love, there are fish in here,â gaz said as he drifted closer to your front. his smile was bordering on mischievous but it eased your slight reservations of being in the water. âbut donât worry they donât bite.â
you felt a sudden pinch on your buttcheek and you squealed before johnnyâs laugh and warm chest at your back registered. you flushed hot and dug your elbow back into his ribs as they laughed, both barely giving you space to float alone.
they guided you closer to the waterfall with easy going smiles and it wasnât until you felt their capable hands on your hips and tummy to keep you from being dragged under as you held your hands under the heavy pour that you looked back guiltily at your husband. you pushed off and away from them but continued to swim a little while longer until elliot kicked up a fuss, bored.
âare we done now? itâs getting dark, we should be heading back,â he spoke up when it looked like the three of you werenât tiring any time soon. âand then thereâs dinner to think of.â
âyou offering to cook, elliot?â kyle said as he climbed out of the water.
elliot scoffed. ânot likely. with the ankle and all,â he said patronisingly.
gaz smiled thinly. âof course.â
the three of you dried off as best you could before dressing and heading back to the farmhouse with elliot leant between johnny and kyle.
even as your clothes chafed against your damp skin, you couldnât bring yourself to regret swimming. thought the cold was biting even through your coat, and a warm shower was calling for you back at the farmhouse.
---
once you were back you showered quickly and then ran a bath for elliot. you helped ease him in so he didnât slip and further injure himself.
âput on a real fucking show today,â he grumbled once he was laid back. you cupped the water over his hair carefully.
âwhat do you mean?â you grabbed the shampoo and began lathering it.
âdonât play dumb,â he hissed. âacting like that, like a whore, with them. again.â
âi wasnâtââ
âyouâre a fucking hypocrite,â he said harshly. âpunishing me for one little mistake but now you get to act like this with other men?â
you let your hands hang over the edge of the tub in shock. âyou cheated on me. more than once, elliot. thatâs not a little mistake.â
âweâre past this,â he said tiredly with a shake of his head, rubbing his hand over his forehead to wipe away the dripping shampoo.
âthen why did you bring it up?â
he turned to look at you, disgust clear on his face.
âyouâre ugly when you get like this,â he said simply. âleave me to it, iâll call you in when i need a hand getting out.â
your lip trembled as you stood and went back to your room. as you closed the door behind you, you heard elliot mutter to himself, âheâs an absolute idiot thinking this was only a twisted ankle, clearly not a doctor. the swelling has hardly gone down.â
you didnât react, heading to the room next door with watery eyes. as you were tidying up your clothes, sniffling back angry and hurt tears, there was a knock on the doorframe. your turned to see johnny with a plate in his hand.
âthought iâd make things easier and bring his tea up fer him,â he said and put it on the bedside table. âdo you want me to bring up yours too or will you be joining us?â
âoh, iâm not hungry, thank you johnny,â you said with a watery smile. the food looked delicious but elliotâs words had soured your appetite. âi think iâm just going to go to bed as soon as elliotâs alright.â
âye sure?â
âmhm.â you nodded.
johnny nodded, said a soft, âlet me know if ye change your mind.â he pulled out a pack of pain tablets from his pocket with a little wave and dropped them on the bed and then left.
you waited for elliotâs shout before you went to help him out of the bath and back through to your room. you left him to dry and dress himself and once he was sat on the bed with his food, you turned your back to him and willed yourself to fall asleep quickly.
part two
want to email johnny? click here!
#itâs here!! and posted correctly hopefully!!#face claim for elliot of oliver jackson cohen bc heâs hot but he plays an arshole really well#iâve had a lot of fun writing this over the last month#took me forever but it turned out a hell of a lot longer than iâd anticipated too#hoping the email idea doesnât flop and goes well!!#thank u kai for helping me with my ocs and thank you birdy for helping me pic the fic title!!#ily guys :â)#full disclosure idk if the area i chose is all that solitary Imao i've never been to scotland never mind falkland or the reservoir#i just looked at google maps lol#soapgaz x reader#soapgaz#soap x reader x gaz#johnny soap mactavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#kyle garrick x reader#cw noncon#tw noncon#cw abusive relationship#tw abusive relationship#let me know if more tags are wanted or needed#fat reader#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish x reader x kyle gaz garrick#johnny mactavish x reader x kyle garrick#soap x reader#gaz x reader
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Some magma doodles from the past two days, very fun very nice (veldigun!Alex design belongs to @tigerarainbowra-blog ) <3
#dreams of an insomniac#doai clyde#eye contact tw#alex williams#veldigun!alex#smoking tw#side note damn the tentacles were actually way more fun/easier-ish to draw than i anticipated i should draw that stuff more often#magma#doodleâs art#my stuffs
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((I⌠might be enjoying this a little too much))
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its been way too long
edit: oop forgot the og screenshot, it's under the cut
bro's mad as hell!!!!!!!
#my art#terrain of magical expertise#tome 2011#i missed drawing these guys sm honestly#saw the screenshot redraw project was finished and immediately remembered how much i love doing redraws...#also recreating the bg was a lot more fun than i anticipated! which is a bonus because im terrified of backgrounds#also dont mind them being slightly off-model i am. too autistic about these characters i Have to make it other peoples problem unfortunatel
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Are you planning on doing some KND redreaw screencaps? It can be from any episode, mainly the ones you like. Also your artsyle's cool I love it
I'm not really as big on DOING screencap redraws, but I enjoy seeing other people's! :> Idk, for me, I try to draw pretty close to the show's style, so doing a screencap redraw just seems like it wouldn't be that interesting coming from me.
But, I did one just for you :> I was originally going to do a different episode, but upon rewatching the end of INTERVIEWS I had to do this one. I took some liberties, like shoving them closer together, I hope that's okay lol
Also thank you so much for the compliment!! đ
#torras art#torra answers#mixxxerlyishere#codename kids next door#knd#screencap redraw#nigel uno#abigail lincoln#1x5#this right here is why I love them as a ship tbh#abby is nigel's voice of reason#and in a way he's a guiding light#not just for her but for everyone#every now and again he just needs to help finding his way again#to be reminded that it's only snowing#thanks for suggesting this it was a lot more fun than I anticipated
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quick canti
#been tryna commit his design to memory#drawing more robotic characters came easier than i thought#i was anticipating a huge jump but its been rlly fun so far ^-^#psii.png#my art#canti flcl#flcl#fooly cooly
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sorry đ
#garten of banban#gobb#gobb 4#garten of banban 4#bittergiggle#art#fan art#redesign#jester#a random cool down between commissions and i was watching let plays so this happened#spent more time on it than anticipated cause it was fun hgjfhgf#jesters are my weakness!!#might keep this design and make it an oc because why the hell not lmao#first art i post in months and its this. sorry to all new followers đ hgjfhgf
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Literally crying (the good kind) after watching that trailer for like the fifth time today and I'm just so overwhelmed because this show Middle Earth and everyone in it is so important to me and these trailers have been so epic and beautiful full of emotion and light and dark and everything I love from Tolkien and LOTR films (since the trilogy was how I first got into Middle Earth) and I never thought I'd see something that would compare to LOTR Trilogy but The Rings of Power truly does. I care so much about these characters just like I do Frodo and Sam and Aragorn and Eowyn etc.
And it also makes me emotional hearing Bears beautiful rousing score once again he is gonna knock it out of the park. Im crying at Celebrimbor at Elronds desperate fight to save the world and people he loves at Galadriel and the huge weight she carries. I am so invested in them all.
It looks phenomenal from the music and costumes to the dialogue and set pieces this world is real they have made magic and it deserves so much appreciation so much love because I can see that it is made with heart and soul and is a story for all time, one that I am so grateful to hold so close.
#the rings of power#ignore me im emotional#I also of course include our wonderful fandom in this#and the excitement and anticipation that has been building makes it so much fun#a very ate night ramble when I should be sleeping haha#but I remember on a LOTR documentary a fan made one#and there was this booth that you could go in and say why you love LOTR#and one guy just went on about how he wanted to hug and hold it tight and have it rain on him lol or something#and thats how I feel about TROP#It is so special to me and LOTR and TROP have helped me and always do help me#get through things like losing my dear cat this year it hurts ike hell#but this world is an escape and a hope and Middle Earth is so much more than just another fantasy world#it feels authentic and the fact trop has captured that magic means so much to me#I can't wait for s2!!!
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If you're still taking requests, could I ask for Futa finding our that Yuno was lying about getting beaten up in her first interrogation?
You sure can đđđđ Omg, I'm a fake 02-03 fan, how have I never thought about that moment before? I assumed he'd know eventually, but for someone who's so honest (and likely already has issues with a disloyal friend group) an actual confession would be so painful... Thank you so much for the request, it reminded me how much I loved writing these two ;--;
âI canât believe it!â Fuuta laid across Yunoâs bed, staring up at the ceiling. âI canât fucking believe it!â
âOoh~ is this about Shidou-san?â Yuno stepped out of a pair of shoes, grabbing another. She walked back and forth with accessories sheâd requested or borrowed from the others. After scrutinizing them in the mirror, sheâd try on something else.Â
âOf course it is! Why arenât you freaking out about this?â
It was a rhetorical question, she knew. This was one of those times Fuuta wasnât really listening to anything except the rant in his own head. It could be annoying, but between him and Mahiru, Yuno actually enjoyed the chance to sit back and let someone else take over the conversation.Â
âHe comes out of his interrogation, casually laughing about the warden being young and kicking him, then expects us to be okay with it? That makes four out of five interrogations someone got hurt! Itâs a good thing I showed them they canât fuck with someone like me, eh? But a pushover like Shidou gets abused and laughs! Argh!âÂ
Fuuta sat up suddenly, trying to find somewhere to put his anger. He caught Yunoâs eye through the mirror. âThereâs no way this is legal, locking us up with some violence-crazed warden! You know what I just keep thinking about, every day?â
Yuno gave a small âhm?â knowing heâd tell her anyway. She turned her eyes away, pretending to fix the ribbon in her hair. It was becoming less and less enjoyable to sit back and let him talk, this time. She was starting to see where this conversation would end. She knew what she needed to do.
âI just keep thinking, what are we going to do about Mahiru?â
âWhat do you mean?â
She was met with a dumbfounded look.Â
âWe canât just let her go in there by herself! Haruka and Shidou have some size and strength on Es, so like a coward they only showed a bit of force. But they know you and Muu were much smaller and weaker, so they really took it out on you both. I mean, I could hear Muu crying during her interrogation, and she came out still sniffling. Whatever the hell happened, it canât be good. Just think of whatâll happen to Mahiru if we leave her alone in there! Iâve started thinking about what we can do.â
She laughed, picking up a headband. âFuuta, you canât do anything. Itâs not like youâd be able to break in during the interrogation. Iâm sure Mahiru-san will be just fine.â
âYou canât be sure, in a place like this. Iâve been thinking about this! I was even talking to Kotoko, and we think itâs possible to sneak in beforehand.â
âAnd if you get caught? What if you get Mahiru-san in more trouble?â
It was all she could think to say. She knew the truth had to come out eventually, but if there was a chance she could calm Fuuta down and avoid a fight altogether, sheâd take it. Yuno wasnât afraid of him. However, just because he was all bark and no bite didnât make his bite any easier to handle. If she was putting the pieces together correctly, it still did end up killing someoneâŚ
Instead of slowing down, his face lit up with even more intensity. He leapt to his feet, appearing behind Yuno in the mirror. âSee, thatâs where my backup plan comes in! Weâll get the others involved. An interrogation will be the perfect time to stage a riot because ââ
âOh, Fuuta.â
ââ I mean it! How are they and that stupid rabbit going to stop all of us, huh? Itâs high time we stood up to this injustice! Give that brat a taste of their own medicine ââ
âJust, listen for a second.â
ââ We wonât use any violence or anything! Unlike them, weâre above that. Just give them a good scare, and demand that they ââ
âFuuta.â
âWhat?â He sounded exasperated, but paused to let her speak. She hadnât raised her voice; he was learning to tell when she was serious.
âThereâs... something I need to tell you.â Her tone made it clear that this would be a pretty weighty confession. Annoyance flashed across his face, like is now really the time for this?Â
Yuno turned to face him. She reached for his hands, knowing the wonders a bit of physical contact can do. Fuuta just rolled his eyes as he tore his hands away. She was constantly reminded that her usual tricks didnât work on him. She also reminded herself, however, that it was a relief. She didnât feel like holding hands now.
âI⌠I wasnât honest about my interrogation. Es didnât touch me. They were actually really calm, and we had a good conversation. They didnât want the others to hear that and just walk all over them, so I promised to tell the story they came up with. I heard Muu talking, and she didnât face any violence either. She was just scared.â
âYou â she â what?â Fuuta sputtered on his words. His face turned a few shades redder than it already had been in his excitement.
âThe lie wasnât supposed to be a big deal, or drag out this long. Definitely not to the point of inspiring a prison riot, oh god. I felt bad that you even went after Es because of itââ
âYeah!â His voice rose. âI stood up to them for you! I coulda gotten punished for that!â
âNo, Es knew why you did it, so Iâm sure they never would have ââ
âYou canât be sure!â He turned to pace the cell, emotion leaking out in sudden pitches in his voice, or a hand jerking up in wild gestures. âSo when were you planning on telling me? Or were you just going to lie to my face for another few months?â She could see the gears turning in his head â all the arguments and comebacks and insults he was formulating. âAnd what else have you been lying to me about?âÂ
Thatâs when she noticed that the look in his eyes wasnât one of rage. Nor was the blood in his cheeks. Though he was indeed angry, he was also dealing with the embarrassing truth of being lied to for months.
âI havenât lied about anything else,â she assured him. She bowed her head. âAnd I wonât. Iâm so sorry. It was supposed to be something quick that everyone forgot about. Once they had their interrogation and had their own impression of the warden, no one would think about it.â
âYou expect me to believe a shitty excuse like that? Why would we all just forget?â
âFuutaâŚâ She smiled sadly. âEveryone did forget. Youâre the only one who still talks about it. Youâre the only one whoâs done anything in response. I felt so guilty youâd put yourself out like that, for me, someone you barely met.âÂ
Yuno paused. She hadnât meant to use any flattery to steer the conversation. She was supposed to just tell him the truth and leave it at that.
But this wasnât flattery. She was still speaking the truth. âEveryone else did exactly what I expected, except you. You stood up for me. I donât take that lightly, okay? Iâm grateful.â
Fuutaâs eyes burned with more fury. He jabbed a pointing finger at her.
âYouâre right!âÂ
â...eh?â
âThose bastards didnât do a single thing! They heard a young girl got abused and they just let it happen? They tried laughing it off? How dare they!â He whirled around. âOh, Iâm gonna give them a ââ
Yuno grabbed the back of his uniform âYou arenât going to do anything. If you get everyone riled up now, itâll be for nothing, remember? But you canât tell. I still promised Es Iâd keep their secret through the first trial.â
âTch, you donât owe them shit.â
âIf you tell, youâll get me in trouble. Please.â She let go of him. âCan I trust you with this?â
He kept his back to her. âYou didnât before.â
âYouâre right.â She wasnât the type to waffle around with excuses.
She started putting away her things. It was almost mealtime, and she didnât have the heart to continue, anyway. Through the mirror, she watched Fuuta hang around the doorway. His expression shifted through emotions that Yuno couldnât quite put her finger on. All his fire was fizzling out.
âJust⌠you swear it wonât happen again?âÂ
âI swear.â
Fuuta nodded. Then, a grin. âAnd you swear I can tell them off after this trial ends?â
She returned the smirk. âOne promise at a time, âkay?â
#milgram#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#it felt too ooc for either of them to say it at the end there - but the reason fuuta calms down is he realizes that yuno said#something harsh about a child and the situation blew up out of her control and a third party (fuuta) attacked the child because of her word#so even though hes definitely still mad - all of the sudden he doesnt feel like judging her so harshly đ#as always i tried to highlight yunos skill with reading people#her anticipating how the average man - the prisoners - and fuuta specifically will react to her words/actions#and she can tell how mad he'll be so she selfishly holds onto the lie as long as she can manage#i love the idea that fuuta is one of the only friends she has had who is completely unaffected by her usual charms#its half relieving that she doesnt need to put up an act for him but half annoying because he becomes a bit of a loose canon đ#but knowing yuno i think shed find the challenge more fun than frustrating <3#thank you again pal -- this was so fun to think about and write đ#drabbles#(oh i still need to change the tag -- i think one shot is the word i was looking for!)
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Hey @dsunivers I was your @gtavfest valentine! This was lots of fun to work on, hope you like it!
#gtavfest#i wouldve done In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel but this one just fit way too well#also your prompts were so good it was hard narrowing it down#gtav#gta 5#michael de santa#trevor philips#patricia madrazo#trikey#patrevor#my art#another contender for song choice was Father Figure by George Michael. but uh. thats only funny in theory#this was my first time doing a gift exchange wver. it was way more fun than i anticipated lmao#grand theft auto
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Alcina/Neko!Reader - Part II
Part I
Now that I think about, I could have cut this part in three... because this ended up being incredibly long! But whatever, enjoy it all at once, hehe.
Your presence in Castle Dimitrescu became quite the adventure.
Alcina soon discovers that as long as she was with you, you walked as a human, but if you were wandering on your own (which she clarified you were free to do because it wouldn't be fair to keep you around with nothing to do while she worked), you preferred to turn your hands and feet into paws to move as an animal since in that way, you were nimbler. And since you still weren't familiarized with the place, it was handier.
The first challenge you encounter is with Alcina's daughters.
They aren't happy with having to share their mother's attention with you and they made it fairly obvious.
Alcina never told them you were out of limits, wanting to test your abilities.
To you, she simply said that you do whatever you need to do to protect yourself. Knowing that if you managed to reach any of them or vice versa, you wouldn't cause any real damage beyond their pride.
The girls would never admit it, but they were impressed by your agility and deep down, they enjoyed and had fun with your chases.
Their worst mischief ocurrs when they lure you towards the cellar in their fly form, where they locked you into the darkness, which wasn't really a problem to you since you could see in it, making you aware that the place is filled with monsters like the one that attacked you on your arrival.
Completely ignorant to how important that room was to the lady of the castle, you jumped from barrel to barrel carelessly, kicking many of them towards the floor as you dodged the monsters to take a proper position to attack them, only noticing the spilled liquid that came from them when you slipped in a puddle but it doesn't stops you from recovering quickly to continue with the battle.
Alcina, during a break from work, tunes your heartbeat, standing in the next second when she realizes how accelerated it is, followed by a commotion.
When she finds her daughters cackling in front of the cellar's door, Alcina knows that nothing good could come from it. Growling at them to move, she heads to the cellar.
You feel proud of yourself when the lights turn on and you can witness your achievement, having got rid of the monsters on your own. However, your smile disappears when you see how discontent Alcina looks.
Despite knowing it wasn't your fault, Alcina feels the rage taking her over after watching all the wasted product. In a few long strides she reaches you, taking you by the back of your neck like a cat, lifting you up effortlessly.
You shrink into yourself, immediately reading the mood, trying to become smaller, trembling when she turns her head to you, her features twisted in anger.
It's tempting to retaliate, but despite her wrathful fog, Alcina perceives you trembling with fear, your big eyes widened with distress, shining with unshed tears. And for the first time, such image doesn't suits her well.
She takes a deep breath with closed eyes to calm a bit, and cradles you in your arms in the next second. She waits a moment in that position, trying to give you some sense of security before setting in motion without letting you go.
The girls are waiting outside, almost expectant to see some kind of drama, but Alcina pretends nothing happened, giving them the order to clean up the mess and go find new maidens to recover the losses.
In silence, she takes you to her chamber, placing you at the end of the bed, standing on the edge. You are still tense, unsure what to expect and the silence doesn't do anything to soothe your nerves.
You fidget with your tail. "My Lady, I-"
"Quiet, pet," she silences you with a soft tone. "I can't blame you for this." She holds you by the chin so you look at her. "But after this unfortunate event, I shall make clear that the cellar is now forbidden for you and my daughters' games. I will let them know about this new rule too."
You nod earnestly. "Understood, my Lady."
For a beat she remains serious but then she chuckles. "Time to get you clean, pet." You imagine a bath is coming your way, but with a gloved finger she collects some of the bloodwine in your arm and then put it in her mouth, moaning appreciatively. The sensual act makes you blush. "I can't let this go to waste."
Alcina doesn't asks for consent, at least not verbally. She keeps your eyes on your face, reading your expressions as she undresses you slowly, giving you the time to stop her.
You are not naive to not understand her intentions but you don't even consider to put a stop to it. The most time you spend with her, the most you crave from her.
Once you are naked, she leans down to lick you clean, starting on your neck and working her way down your body, avoiding any part that would make the act sexual instead of simply intimate.
Nonetheless, it makes you tremble with desire, reason why she wraps an arm around your waist when she notices your legs wobble.
Finishing with your body, she puts her free hand on your neck, her fingers on your jaw so she can move your head as it suits her as she licks the bloodwine on your face.
She takes advantage of your gasps to slid her tongue inside your mouth, brushing yours fleetingly as she press her lips against yours.
The contact barely lasts a second but it's enough to add more impact to your already stimulated body. Lightheaded, you wonder if this was some sort of punishment even when she claimed she couldn't blame you for what happened.
Chuckling at your disarranged state, Alcina takes you in her arms once again, finally taking you to the bathroom to bathe you properly.
Alcina lived in a constant state of tenderness and flusteredness because of you.
Luckily for you, her affection for you it's stronger and she only resorts to scolding you or making clear that you can't do whatever it pleases you.
Like she will once this dinner it's over.
You had been invited to join the meals of your Lady and her daughters since the very first day and today wasn't the exception but this time you did something you have never done.
You feel sleepy, due to an exhaustive chasing with the girls that lasted several hours and the food only highlighted such state.
Mother and daughters fall into conversation, Alcina happily listening to the girls' affairs.
You get off the chair, rubbing your eyes to then turn your hands and feet, sitting on your butt with bended legs on the floor next to Alcina's chair, keeping one arm extended in front of you while licking your other paw to groom yourself.
It doesn't take long to feel Alcina's hand on your head, making you push your against her hand enthusiastically.
Her ministrations aren't helpful for your sleepy state and you can only think in the comfort she provides, the warmth that would surround you if you were closer to her.
Without thinking, you hop into her lap, fleetingly nuzzling your face in her neck before lying down in a curled up position, your purring reaching every corner of the room, completely unaware of the women's reactions.
Alcina looks down at you speechless, the hand with which she had been caressing you, hovering idly.
In other circumstances â more precisely, in the presence of the Lords and Mother Miranda â she would have reacted very different, and the outcome wouldn't have been pleasing for neither of you.
Thankfully, this time she can be reckless. But a serious conversation with you is bound to happen once you wake up.
Alcina cradles your head softly, her thumb brushing one of your ears, making her smile subtly when you smile in your sleep.
Gazing up while her hand rests protectively on the side you had been hurt months ago, she finds her daughters smiling like the cat who ate the canary, and she channels her Lady Dimitrescu persona for a second. "Not a single word." Afterwards, she clears her throat, taking a sip of her wine regally and smiles softly. "Continue, sweet Bela."
You wake up hours later, Alcina's lap no longer your resting place but you are still lying in a comfortable and soft spot, and when you open your eyes, your eyes find your Lady next to you on her bed, leaning against the headboard, reading a book.
"Have you rested well, pet?" She places the book on the nightstand and the glasses she was wearing on top of the book.
You cover your face with your paws while you stretch, then yawn. "Yes, my Lady." Though you scoot towards her with the intention to fall asleep again.
A hand on your shoulder stops you, making you pout and look up with a disgruntled expression.
"There's something I need to speak with you, pet. Something important and that can't wait."
You worry, wondering what could you have done to upset your lady, your mind already overworking with possible scenarios of your dismissal.
"Easy, pet." She shifts to her side to face you, resting on her arm. "Technically, you haven't done anything wrong. But what occurred in the dinner room can't happen again."
You frown, not understanding. If you haven't done anything wrong, why it couldn't happen again?
"At least not whenever it pleases you. You have known Mother Miranda and the other Lords. I have an image to maintain in front of them."
You still remember the day as it had happened yesterday. Your Lady had told you about them before their arrival and after finding out Mother Miranda was a scientist, you wanted to go hide in a room and come out until they were gone.
Alcina warned you to behave, and it had requiere a huge effort not to react in anyway when the leader entered the castle. You were scared and wondered why you had to be there even when Alcina explained that it was better to introduce you than trying to keep a secret from Mother Miranda.
Since your experience with scientists wasn't a good one, you were expecting to be taken away to be studied even when Alcina tried to reassured you that that wouldn't happen.
And your Lady had been right. Mother Miranda had looked at your way once, scrutinizing you up and down as if she was scanning you, capable to find out right in that moment that you weren't fitting for whatever she needed, and she had let out a snort afterwards, making a mocking comment to Alcina about what a good mother she was for getting a kitten for her daughters.
It hurt your pride but she never looked your way after that time, so only for that reason you were able to let it go.
"Do you understand, pet?" There was an edge on her tone, not appreciating having to fish for a response.
"Yes, my Lady." You gazed up. "I would never do that in front of them. I would never do anything to embarrass you," you promised, wanting to be a good thing for her and not a nuisance. "But-" you trailed off, hesitating.
"Speak your mind, pet." Her words might be slightly harsh but she was caressing your jaw with the back of her index finger softly.
"But what about when it's only you and I, my Lady, could I-?"
Alcina ponders for a moment. "Only when I'm not working and you have to wait until I allow you to do it."
You have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, you want to be selfish and take what you want whenever you want to as your nature whispers you to do and what usually gets you in troubles. On the other, you had never known about sincere care and interest for you until you meet your Lady, and you know that's something you won't risk losing.
You nod. "All right, my Lady." You smile and feel your heart fluttering when Alcina grins back at you.
"What a good pet." She buries her face in the crook of you neck, nuzzling your jaw with her head, acting as if she was a cat. She brushes your neck with her lips. "Such a good pet."
You close your eyes when you feel her teeth scraping your skin, knowing what's coming, letting out a whimper when she sinks them in.
Drinking slowly from you, savouring you, Alcina rolls over you, careful not to put all her weight on you, but enough for you to feel a satisfying pressure.
You grasp your Lady's shoulders, digging your claws for her to feel but without breaking her skin, dragging a moan from the woman.
"Mine." She grunts against your neck, making you shiver due to the vibration and the possessiveness she exuded.
Sitting on the couch in Alcina's office with your limbs and tail tucked under your body, resembling a loaf of bread, you stare at the maid who enters after knocking on the door to deliver a package until she leaves the two of you alone once again, hurrying to get out after making quick eye contact with you.
The staff was no longer very fond of you after the day you attacked one of the maids, taking away her life to rip her heart out to gift it to your Lady.
Alcina doesn't react at the box placed on her desk until hours later, once she's done with her work, when you are sleeping lightly. She smiles smugly after opening it.
"Come here, sweet pet."
Despite you are waking up, you are quick and nimble to stand up, transforming your paws to hands and feet, hurrying to your Lady's side. You wait next to her chair, looking up at her expectantly and when she pats her lap with one hand, you climb to straddle her happily.
She strokes your cheek, triggering your purring. "I have a gift for you."
You look down when she presents you the box she's holding for you to see, gasping in awe at the leather choker with the Dimitrescu crest resting proudly in the middle.
You reach out to touch it reverently with your fingertips. "For me?" you ask skeptically, not used to such gestures despite it wasn't the first time your Lady gave you something. Since your arrival, your wardrobe had increased thanks to her. But somehow you knew this was different, and much more valuable.
Alcina hums, taking the choker out of the box, leaving the latter on the desk. "I want you to have something that will always remind you of who you belong to. More importantly, to remind everyone who sets their eyes on you... who you belong to." She puts the choker in your neck, capable to close the clasp without looking at it. A pleasant sensation washing her over at the result.
You follow her hands until she's done with the task, raising your head to look at her. "I-I belong to you, my Lady?" you ask with wonder.
Alcina grins intimidatingly though you know it's not aimed to you. "Of course, pet. My pet. I got you first, you are mine." She wraps her hand around your neck, squeezing softly, not to hurt but as if she was looking to leave the choker's mark on your skin. "You are mine to look after. Mine to touch. Mine to kiss. Mine to taste. Mine to possess. Mine to do every single thing I want... isn't that right?" She wasn't asking due to uncertainty, simply because she wanted you to voice your surrender to her.
You gulp, momentarily closing your eyes as your body arches towards hers. Alcina's laugh make your ears flutter at the divine sound, and you are overjoyed when she wraps her arm around your waist, soothing your desperation to be closer when she pressed your front against hers, your hands finding her shoulders.
"Yes..." you whisper, your voice trembling but with your next words your tone is louder and firmer. "Yours, my Lady, ever only yours." Your hands slide towards her neck, your fingertips ghosting her jaw.
Alcina raises an eyebrow, almost like she was reading your mind and daring you to do what you wanted to do. And despite knowing there could be consequences for acting before your Lady approved it, you couldn't deny that you enjoyed her punishments because it usually meant keeping you at her side all day, doing things to keep her in a good mood or spend all day aroused.
Even when you were the brattiest and she resorted into something physical and you had trouble sitting comfortably, you never felt unsafe or scared because Alcina carefully keeps an eye on you to be conscious of your limits.
But so far she has never crossed a line, giving you comfort and reassurance afterwards; and you took pleasure in the soreness her hands left in your body, which you considered another way to mark you even when not always it was visible.
So you dare to hold her face in her hands, tilting her head as if you truly could have some control over her. She growls as if annoyed but she smirks before you press your lips against hers.
"I'm yours as much as you are mine, my Lady," you claim conceitedly.
Alcina doesn't denies it. She can't, knowing you are aware because you thrive on all the attention she gives you, noticing how different it is from the one she gives to others. Nonetheless, she narrows her eyes, golden eyes shining with only one purpose.
And when she grabs your ass with her free hand, squeezing it, you know the next following days, every time you sit down, you are going to be reminded of your cheekiness.
But when Alcina kisses you again, taking total control of you with her tongue and lips, you are more than clear that you wouldn't have it any other way.
#alcina dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu x reader#lady dimitrescu x reader#hd.txt#hdad.txt#writing this was more fun than i anticipated!#and way longer than i expected... i got inspired lololol#txt: ad
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here's this scene suggested by @jacksprostate
i have the car scene subtitled but i have to compress it before posting
(these were so high quality before they had to be massacred for tumblr ue ue ue)
#tw violence#tw blood#kanakori gif#if there are typos no there aren't#making these took way longer than i anticipated but its so much fun#gonna make more of the suggestions tomorrow#fight club#fight club gif#narrator fight club#fight club 1999#edward norton
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i made a little video combining one of my favourite songs with one of my favourite shows (show is skins (uk, all gens), song is ĎÎŹĎĎĎ
(party) by billie kark)
#this is like my second time ever trying to make a video like this it was fun but way more time consuming than i anticipated omg#mine#music video#skins uk#billie kark#greek tumblr#edits#greek music#2014 grunge#2014 aesthetic#effy stonem#cassie ainsworth#cassie skins#skins#skins effy#skins gen 1#skins gen 2#skins gen 3#mv#skins 2007#skins cassie#skins cook#skins chris#skins sid#skins tony#tony stonem#sid jenkins#chris miles#skins michelle#skins jal
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the thing is, like, imogen is blunt, and indecisive, and impulsive. she's cynical, angry at the world, and seemingly much less interested in doing good than in holding on to her loved ones. she's hypocritical, incredibly violent one moment and horrified at the prospect the next. she's passive aggressive, on occasion. she's overly critical. she's scatterbrained.
and all of that stuff is very fucking fascinating, and so fun to watch, and core to what makes her her. but not only are those things not the totality of imogen as a character, they're very much inextricable from the things that make her sympathetic.
imogen has spent much of the last decade of her life in pain, and isolated because of it. when she wasn't alone she couldn't relax, having to keep tight control over her mind so as to not get overwhelmed or invade the privacy of others. because even through all that pain and loneliness, she still bore the responsibility not to impose on other people's minds. and when she fails or slips up or gives in, all of the distrust and suspicion she recieves regardless is suddenly viewed as justified.
which is not to say imogen is not responsible for her actions, or the harm she causes others. of course she is! no one is saying she isn't! but, just like literally every other person, her actions don't exist in a void but within the context of both her past and present.
analyzing that context and coming up with explanations of her behavior that consider it is not excusing her actions or refusing to acknowledge her flaws. it is not coddling imogen to sympathize with her even when she's fucking up. these are pretty standard ways to discuss a character you enjoy actually! it's weird that having a nuanced perspective on a character's actions is being treated as an issue!
#imogen temult#critical role#cr#i mean. to get into it a little bit. one benefit of this approach to character analysis is that it often gives you takes that feel#much truer to the text than âimogen speaks into people's heads to manipulate them and she was the one who abandoned her dadâ which. how#to get into it even more its so fun that the ânot being hypercritical of imogen is sexist actuallyâ discourse is happening mere days after#the âanyone questioning orym's decisions clearly hates him and liam and also conflict and flawed characters in generalâ discouse. lol#if laura had given a monologue announcing âimogen has seen the cycle of harm and is choosing to perpetuate itâ i wld talk abt that too. btw#were i without a massive headache i would devote more attention to anticipating and responding to counterarguments#but we're just gonna have to take the âif you get it you get itâ route on this and release this post like a wild animal into a crowded room#ok bye. actually i have an imodna specific followup but then bye.#long post /#CRposting#cr meta
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Crimson Peak study, tis the season
#my art#digital art#crimson peak#thomas sharpe#this was far more fun than I anticipated it would be#one layer value study#unfortunately heâs beautiful in this scene#and I would love to do more from it#and from the movie as a whole the entire thing is gorgeous#tom hiddleston#you are a joy to draw
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